| If a trauma falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|04:32 pm] |
It's now been over a week since I discovered the headless stiffy on my way to work.
Since I wasn't terribly upset right after finding the body, I thought the psychological trauma might occur later. After a week I still haven't experienced it. I haven't had any nightmares, and while I do occasionally think back on the body, it's not like it dominates my thoughts or anything.
I'm getting slightly anxious, however. I know a mental-dam-rupturing torrent of angst might never come (or probably never will), and yet I still have a small fear of it hitting when I least expect. I really don't think I got any significant emotional scars from the incident, but it disturbs me to think that perhaps the surest sign of being mentally fucked-up is the blind obliviousness to your problems. Is my assumed calmness a reason to be worried?
No, I don't think so. Still, this is all very interesting.
I've noticed that some jokes, references and mentions of decapitation, death or gore do stir some new... feelings, I guess, or responses, in me. It's nothing negative, really, just a tug somewhere in my mind that previously hasn't reacted to that sort of imagery. It's not like anyone would have to be careful of what to say around me, or that I would be less inclined to enjoy violent video games and entertainment. I guess my world just changed the tiniest bit, in unforseen ways.
Also, way too many updates without pictures! Will try to compensate for this soon. |
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| x_x |
[Dec. 7th, 2009|04:35 pm] |
In an installment of What The Fuck Just Happened we bring you a tale of an eerie encounter, during which I saw something I would not have wanted to, and after which I was escorted to a patrol car by five policemen. I felt like I had to write this down somewhere so it would stop disturbing me, and to have something to fall back on when the police contact me again.
Dear journal,
( Today I found a body. ) |
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| Post-November Post |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|04:34 pm] |
One could wonder whatever the heck happened to my Nanowrimo. I would answer it turned out a bit different from what I expected.
When I decided to write a game script as my Nanowrimo project I thought I would be spending my November much like the rest of the Nano-ing world: hunched over my keyboard, furiously typing away plot and dialogue.
Only I forgot I wasn't writing a script as much as a script for a game. And not for just a game but for a puzzle-solving, mystery-heavy Phoenix Wright fangame. I could've written whatever came to my mind, but it would've been a lot of effort wasted since the game won't work unless the tricks and secrets unfurl properly. Writing a lot of stuff would've been fine if I'd known the general plot structure, but as it is, there's no point in wasting time on writing lots of something I will never end up using anyway. Or worse yet, on something I feel I can't let go of because of the time spent on it.
I decided to change my goal from writing a script to writing the basic outline of the script. That way I could write down lots of small ideas and see which of them still stood after the dust settled. That worked really well, to my slight surprise. I kept pouring ideas to sheets upon sheets of paper, to my sketchbooks, to my work notebook, to random .txt, .rtf and .doc documents, to post-it notes and to my cellphone. Most of the ideas were utter crap but enough of it sticked to form a vessel for the story. Now I know who accuses who of what, with what evidence, who's the real culprit, and how the proceedings of court will go. I also decided on most of the locations and made lists of animations and character poses needed to be drawn. Though there might be changes along the way, it's now vastly easier to start fleshing out the dialogue and whatnot.
It wasn't what I expected but it certainly was a helpful month. Next I'll have to make a pruned and abridged version of my notes and start writing the actual game content. Also, I'll have to conduct some tests to see what the game engine I'm going to use can and can't do.
Yay, success. |
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| "There are 253 distinct types of bitterness in coffee." |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|10:56 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | coffee, life | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Phoenix Wright 3 OST - The Fragrance of Dark Coffee | ] |
I've now been going to the same coffee shop for almost six months. Not every day, but usually at least once a week, and often a lot more. It's not really all that special as a coffee shop, as far as prices and the range of nom goes. It isn't the closest café I have, either. Actually, there are quite a few restaurants and cafés that are closer. But what I like about the place is the staff. They are usually really happy (whether they really are happy or it's just a clever facade to lure in customers I will probably never know) and I've had frequent and regualr small talks or chats or whateverthehells with them. Having something of a connection to the person who pours me coffee every day is something I've always wanted, but never really haven't got. It might (and likely is) just me... But the fact that I manage to have funny and quirky little conversations with the staff despite the me-factor tells at least something positive about the staff and about the café itself. Also, I think (but am not sure) the core staff is of Chinese origin. That's nothing special in itself, and I'm not sure whether it relates to anything, but it does add an interesting extra feel to the establishment nevertheless.
I was devastated to hear the sort-of-manager will be leaving the coffee shop soon. She's the heart of the establishment, and has offered me some neat insights about coffee, along with a lot of fun little tidbits of conversation that started from nothing and led to nowhere in particular, but were still really enjoyable. She also smiles a lot, and I really admire her for that.
( Read more... ) |
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| Demographics |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|08:14 pm] |
(I made a quick Wii-tan doodle at work. Or something like a Wii-tan anyway. I’m not entirely sure what the most common Wii-tan looks like ^^’)
I was somewhat amused yesterday when, upon having visited three different households, I realized each contained one of the three major current-gen game consoles. There was the hardcore-ish nerdy Xbox 360 household, the techno-savvy PS3 household and the, uh, surprising in-laws-with-Wii household.
I don’t suppose the households were the most typical examples of target demographics for their respective game consoles, but I’m sure I couldn’t have imagined the console distribution to have gone any other way.
Also, nothing brings home the point of being behind the times like the realization that your in-laws have newer gaming gear than you -_-‘
In other news:
“Something momentous took place in The World of Men this week, something that those living in The World of Women – that is, largely, The Real World – may yet be unaware of.“
Whoa. Just… whoa. |
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| That time of the year. Also, sayonara lododramo! |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|10:21 pm] |
It's november again. Nanowrimo time. Having no thesis to write and no time to do a real nanowrimo comic project, I decided to try something different again. During the month of november 2009 I will write a script for the Phoenix Wright doujin game I've been meaning to make all autumn. I already have the rough design and the outline for a plot ready, and I've been waiting for an opportunity to actually write it all down and start doing the game. But an opportunity will never come unless I make one. After all, what else is Nanowrimo than an excuse to bug yourself to doing something you think you have no time for. It's like an opportunity generator.
One game script (the first draft of it anyway) coming up!
And as for my last year's Nanowrimo project "lododramo" (local doodle drawing month)... I think by now it would be safer to say it went to become something more like a local doodle drawing year. Although I had the pictures and texts done in time last november, I've still to upload all of them. But! What better way to kick off this year's Nanowrimo than by posting the previously unposted stuff!
Hit the cut for all of them!
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| Women's hour |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|01:40 pm] |
Did you know that women who are going to appear in television are asked to arrive to the studio a lot earlier than men? It's not surprising, but I hadn't thought about it before.
I happened to overhear a phone conversation between two people scheduling an interview in a television programme. When asked at what time should the interviewee arrive, the representative of the TV company said that ten or twenty minutes before the start of the show is enough - but because she's a woman, let's make it an hour.
This is because make-up and hair fluffing and whatnot usually takes longer with women, which I understand. But it's also because a longer preparation time allows women to properly wake up (it's a morning show), so they're awake and radiant on screen.
Why do women have to be radiant but men can just waltz in whenever they want? Why not say "if you want your hair fluffed, come an hour early, but twenty minutes will do if you don't want to fuss", regardless of gender? Radiance to whomever wants it.
I would like to see more radiant men in television (though in all honesty I have to say I can't even remember when was the last time I watched TV... It's been at least 6 months now, I'd wager), but I would also appreciate it if those who decide how people look on television would stop separating those-who-must-be-made-up from those-who-are-good-just-as-they-are just based on gender.
...
Regular picture-dumps will resume soon, hopefully! I've been drawing, just not uploading anything ^^'' |
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| A pause |
[Sep. 25th, 2009|09:58 pm] |
As is obvious, my update-spree sort of, um, ended. I currently have the thesis to deliver (making a printable .pdf out of a Word document turned out to be a longer process than I had originally intended - Word keeps doing things O_o) and an article to write. I feel a tad overworked with all the deadlines and things to do so I decided to cut down on the updates for a while. I simply don't have the time to do them every day.
But it felt tremendously good to clear the backlog a bit, so I'll get back to updating daily soon. If the deadline for the article is next tuesday, and I hope to get the final version of the thesis pdf made on monday (and delivered to be printed on wednesday, possibly), that would mean regular updates will resume sometime around next wednesday or thursday. See you then ^^
...
Oh. The weirdest thing. My thesis-submitting is taking so long mostly because it took a week for me just to find out what language should I write the abstract in. Turns out my proffessor didn't know, and neither did the master's programme coordinator guy or any of the study councelor persons I contacted. And it took quite a while to reach these people by phone, and those to whom I sent mail took their time with replying. In the end I had to call the Head of Student and Academic Affairs (big title ^^') whose first comment to me was:
"Oh, but you aren't a student at the Faculty of Humanities."
So, before getting to hear what language should my abstract be in, I had to convince that I am, in fact, a student at the Faculty of Humanities. After I had tried just about everything from repeating my past studies to reminding her that I've talked with her before, she suddenly said:
"Oh, of course! That master's programme! You just said the name wrong!"
*rolls eyes*
I worked for one whole summer as an assistant in the programme, and I had to say, write and spell the name quite a few times during that period. I'm convinced that though my pronunciation isn't perfect, I'm still perfectly capable of saying the name of the programme so that it isn't "wrong".
Still... This was about the last thing I thought I'd have to struggle with when wrapping up my studies O_o'
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| Can't go wrong with swords and top hats. |
[Sep. 17th, 2009|11:28 pm] |
It's surprising how little steampunk is used in anime and manga (not that it isn't used at all, obviously), especially since scifi and old Japan is something that gets revisited on a regular basis in Japanese popular culture. In any case, I thought I'd give the steampunky Japan a spin, just to see where it goes. (And in retrospect, it went to quite a few places, most of which weren't Japan at all. Interesting.)
( Read more... ) |
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| "But it always feels as if Luis has an ulterior motive for following Leon around." |
[Sep. 17th, 2009|12:09 am] |
No artsy stuff today either. Went to help a person move. Don't have the energy to do anything complex any more. Instead, have some uncomfortable pairs.
Urgh. A minor shit storm (perchance a brownish breeze?) swelling up because of an article listing "Uncomfortable Pairings" in digital games. The article also made an appearance in Kotaku, under the suave title "Gaming's Creepiest Couples".
The article lists uncomfortable pairings in games and rates them with the "Wrong-O-Meter". The pairings include "unholy unions" between characters that have significant difference in age, a few pairings with animals/creatures, Kurt Cobain (what?), a single "uncomfortable" male/female pair, one supersoldier/AI-pair and four male pairs.
These pairings are what the author describes as "oddball unions that never fail to make me feel like something is more than a little askew. "
Really? A little askew? Nothing could be more askew when two guys... uh... um... are in the same picture? Shoot aliens together? Are both, er, men? Suspicious! And weird! Let's see how it rates on the Wrong-O-Meter, huh!
( Read more... )
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|11:00 am] |
As a small interlude to the artsy updates I have to confess:
I really miss game studies, and studying in general.
I have this horrible feeling that I am somehow filled up now; a product at the end of the assembly line, ready to be shipped out. Like I've had my chance at improving myself and learning new things, and now it's all downhill from here. I'm supposed to be an adult and competent and whatnot. I know it isn't so, but I still can't help but to feel a bit melancholic.
I miss studying in general and game studies especially. I can device theories and mental constructs to my heart's content, but it seems so pointless unless I get to write about them. Naturally, I should write them here, or someplace else, even if I'm not an active student any more. But still... It's not the same. Or rather, it is the same, but it doesn't feel the same.
I'll have to see if I can do something about this before I go out of my mind.
Edit: Good riddance. I had just gotten myself in balance with the whole issue, when another crisis struck. I got an email from my professor. Apparently the professors and teachers have finally seen enough fine-tuning and would very much like to see me graduate and bugger off (and, apparently, apply to become a postgraduate student). I was told to print out my thesis and take it to the faculty for official grading, as soon as possible.
*gulp*
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| Underworlds and monasteries |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|10:37 pm] |
I missed yesterday's update because I was helping my parents get their sailboat ready for the winter. I was supposed to come back to Helsinki at around 7-8 PM, but I ended up home around 11 PM, by which point I was way too tired to do anything interesting.
But here you go, more LoDoDraMo backlog!
( Read more... )
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| Yet another LoDoDraMo backlog post ^^' |
[Sep. 12th, 2009|08:45 pm] |
Edit: hope this post looks ok. LJ is shitting bricks shaped like </div> again -_-'Back on track with LoDoDraMo. Still some 10 pictures to go. Might be this daily updating thingy will take longer than a week to finish, since I think I still have significant amounts of backlog to clear. We're still stuck in 2008, people :D (well, apart from the cock-animation of yesterday, which was done quite recently)  Balthazar is the world's first artificial intelligence, and this is his physical manifestation. Nobody knows where he got the body. Maybe he made it, or maybe he took it from someone. Very little is known of him anyway. You can ask him about a lot of things, but he rarely replies. Or rather, he replies to great many questions but rarely to the ones that concern himself or any other topic deemed of utmost importance. Despite all the best efforts, he declined to reveal how to stop global warming, or resolve the energy crisis. He also did not bring forth an intelligence explosion or singularity. For months it was just Balthazar, and thousands of people trying to get him to do something. Or trying to stop other people from doing something to him. ( Read more... )</div></div> |
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| Bang! An interlude! |
[Sep. 11th, 2009|09:01 pm] |
For a slight detour from LoDoDraMo, this is an animation I did on a friend's Nintendo DS. The main reason I wanted to put this up is because, simply enough, it's made with a frigging DS! The thing is like a portable digital sketchbook! Awesomeness!
The friend in question had downloaded an animation software called "Animanatee" and I had to try it out! I guess a combination of not knowing how the program works and it actually not working too well led to me starting the animation over a couple of times. It wasn't a big loss, luckily, since I didn't really know what I was doing anyway. In any case, this took me around 10 minutes to doodle, so we're not talking about immense loss of time either. (Although I suppose you could argue that the whole messing-with-the-DS was a waste of time. But I hope you won't :D)
I had this idea that I wanted to draw something as crude as possible (I mean, a public space and the means to make an animation - it's practically illegal not to draw something crude and stupid in a situation like that!), and what would be cruder than a big flopping penis. Somehow I forgot the big penis though, and the whole animation ended up being a sad tale of a disappointed guy. But in my defense I must say that it has a few penises in it and I managed to wrap it up pretty fast, at least :D
Improvised animation (meaning you just draw whatever, without planning in advance) is interesting because when making it you concentrate on one picture at a time, but in the end you have a narrative. It's like a stream of single moments of concentration. You have a big collection of kinda random stuff that mean nothing when you are drawing them but start to make sense when played back together. I didn't have a story when I started to doodle this and yet it became one anyway.
I definitely want to make more animations. I just don't know the proper medium yet. Animating with the DS was fun but ultimately a bit frustrating. It was great for social drawing and messing around, but I'm not sure I'd want to do anything ambitious or complex with it. Luckily I know a couple of interesting alternatives, though, so maybe I'll get to make animations soon ^^
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| More backlog-clearing and LoDoDraMo |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|08:28 pm] |
Urgh. I don't know why but today's been a bitch. Everything annoys me, I'm tired and I can't seem to write at all. I try to type and nothing comes. Or something comes, I'm irritated by it and erase it right away, only to write more stuff I don't like. So, I'll rely on text written ages ago and keep this entry a bit simpler than I had initially planned. More tomorrow, hopefully.
Titiuu sleeping.
Haruki sleeping.
( Read more... )
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| LoDoDraMo and backlog-clearing week! |
[Sep. 9th, 2009|11:34 pm] |
I seem to be nurturing a veritable trove of blog posts, sketches, doodles, layouts and gewgaws, some of which are almost a year old. This will not do! In an attempt to bring myself up to date with all that's going on with my life at the moment, as well as with whatever artsy stuff I've done since a year ago, I will try to update this very journal every day for the next week or so! Let's see where this goes, aside from me despairing over unwritten updates.
First up, I 'll try to clear the neverending queue of LoDoDraMo doodle posts that have been gathering dust for way longer than I care to think. Today's post is about
Tieria.
( Read more... )
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| A bowl of soup (and no stamp) |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|03:23 pm] |
Would someone please explain to me the logic behind the Wayne's Coffee's stamp card? They stamp your card when you buy coffee (or tea or any other hot beverage) and when you have 10 9 stamps you get a free drink. A hot drink, mind you, even if you wanted a cheaper product that isn't, you know, hot.
I sort of understand this. You only get stamps for hot drinks, and the reward for collecting stamps is a hot drink to match your good combo. You gotta have symmetry, I suppose.
What I don't understand is this: why do only (hot) beverages count as stampable? I eat lunch at Wayne's. Not always, but often enough. When I buy a soup lunch (bowl of veggie soup and a cup of coffee) I am not given a stamp. It is absolutely impossible, according to the staff. "Only (hot) drinks count."
Thus, a "soup lunch" does not contribute to my stamp-quest for a free cup, the requirement of which is to buy hot beverages. Which I actually just did, as coffee is included in the "soup lunch" set.
Why do I get a stamp for coffee (priced around 2e) but not for soup + coffee (priced 6.90e)? Is it because when I'm eating lunch, I am paying only for the soup and the coffee is extra, thrown in for free, as a sort of a gesture of good will? So in fact, when buying the lunch, I'm not buying the coffee at all?
Regardless, I'm a customer who just spent around 4e more money in their establishment than I would have without the soup.
This has been bugging me for a while, and I was wondering if there really is some weird (or even better, perfectly understandable) corporate logic behind this? Why am I punished for buying a goddamn bowl of soup? Or conversely, why am I rewarded only for buying (hot) drinks? Wouldn't it make more sense to favour all customers who frequent the establishment on a regular basis, with an emphasis on the ones who spend more per visit? Or do they presume that people buying hot beverages will more likely buy something else as well, which would generate more income compared to someone ordering a mere lunch set?
But the difference isn't really that great. A lunchy consumable item and a coffee (bought separately and not as a set) totals pretty much the same as the lunch set that has the "included" coffee. Is the slight difference in price really worth tilting your whole customer appreciation apparatus away from lunch-eaters and towards hot-beverage-buyers?
Buyers of lunch sets are often seeking a, well, lunch. And like me, they are probably having a lunch in the middle of their work day, which would make them a pretty valuable source of recurring income. If they take a liking to your establishment, maybe they will spend some of their future lunch breaks there as well.
So... what gives? And I better stop here, as I suspect I have already passed the border to tl;dr land. And to think this entry was supposed to be a couple of lines in the spirit of a slice of life pondering, and instead it's now a kind of an angry rant that resembles more a chunk of life than anything else. As a disclaimer I probably ought to mention that the reason I am committing such an obvious amount of energy to a detail this inane is because ABSO-frakking-LUTELY NOTHING IS GOING ON AT WORK AT THE MOMENT AND I AM BORED! Nothing is going on not because I didn't have my hands full but because the people I need to have around to complete my tasks are nowhere to be found, and have been not-around since noon -,-'
(And in case someone is wondering, the recent excursion to Japan was, dare I say, LEGENDARY, and sketches, doodles and whatnot related to it will be posted the very second I stop being dead due work and soul delay. Which is to say, I have no idea when. But the doodles exist already, at least. So... some day for sure :D)
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| Of keys and security and the difficulty of talking (to a belly or yourself) |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|03:57 pm] |
Gah, what a hellishly messy day. And when I get home, I'll have more work to do! I know some people can easily juggle two jobs at the same time, but I also now know I'm not one of those people =__=
On a completely unrelated note, I forgot my magnetic key-thingy home today, so I had to go get a replacement from the Control Room, which is the lair of the security guys here. Essentially all I, or the other non-security employees for that matter, ever see from the Control Room is its outer wall, which has this big two-way mirror contraption serving as the counter. The space is basically just a long concrete-and-steel corridoor with nothing else in it than the big mirrored window/counter.
When you go and talk to the security guys, they'll slide a tiny window open from the mirror, so in theory you can talk to them face to face. But the opening is roughly at the same height as my stomach, meaning I have to bend really awkwardly low (and even then I'll only see the chest of the security guy from the opening, and my own face up close from the mirror) if I want to talk to something that even remotely reminds me of another person, even if it's just one body part (and not the face at that). And if I don't want to bend and bow, I'll have to stand upright and converse with my mirror image, while glancing down to the opening to see a belly, or crotch, if it's one of the less obese security guys on duty. It's amazingly difficult to have a conversation with your mirror image. It feels like there were three people present. And I lose my thoughts completely, distracted by how I look when I talk. And talking to the belly isn't any better, especially since your eyes tend to wander to the mirror image eventually anyway. So usually I start up the discussion with my mirror image, then switch to bend-mode when it gets too confusing and talk with the belly (or crotch), straighten up when it gets too weird, and lose my thoughts when I start thinking how I look in the mirror when I speak, instead of what I should say next or what I just said.
Horrible place.
Anyways! I went there today to get a spare key, and had a pretty weird little chat.
Me: I seem to have forgotten my key. Could I get a spare one?
Security Guy: Sure, just fill in this form.
*formalities ensue and I get the key*
SG: Just remember to return the key if you leave today.
Me: ... "if"?
SG: Umm *ahem* When. I meant when.
O_o'
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| Day 13: The final night! Part 2 |
[Jun. 30th, 2009|09:46 pm] |
The following is one of my insanely bulky entries. Lots of stuff and intimidating walls of text. This entry borders on the limits of a text-golem, really. But if you have the stamina to get through it (or the heart to skip the nonsense) there are doodles at the end!
The final night, then, as promised a lifetime ago.
( Read more... )
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|01:18 pm] |
You know you're working at the museum of contemporary art when your day starts with a glass of champagne in the men's room (no lights but most of the staff) and afterwards you sit in a meeting, pondering how stiff an erection you can show publicly before it gets too risqué in general, or too obscene in terms of law. |
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